We’ve all been there.. the moment world war 3 has just exploded in the nappy, you know the one? Where you actually think twice about throwing the baby in the bin and Starting a fresh. Nasty nappies are all part and parcel of parenting and if you’ve not dealt with one yet then you arnt doing it right.
Is it just me or before being a parent we’re you shy talking about poo? I can’t be the only one? What self respecting woman talks openly about their crap? Fair play to any women who were open about that kind of stuff. Becoming a mother has taught me a lot of life lessons, it’s taught me how to love like I’ve never loved before, it’s taught me how to be a better person but most importantly it’s taught me not to be shy about talking about poo! Why is it suddenly okay to obsess over your baby’s poo? Why is it ok to announce to the room that your baby has done a huge shit? Why is it okay to ask the baby sitter if your baby has had a shit today? Motherhood is a magical journey of love and pooey nappies that’s why! If we have to deal with it then everyone has to hear about it!
I won’t lie I was a little bit terrified of nasty nappies because I don’t have the strongest stomach in the world, I can just about manage to pick up dog poo without bringing up my breakfast, I was quite pleasantly surprised that newborns nappies arnt actually that bad! I missed the lovely black tarry nappy because Rex decided he was going to poo inside me so that was that. From the day he was born his poos were kind of cute. I know what your thinking! Who the fuck calls a poo cute? I’m a mother ok everything about my baby is cute!
Baby’s poos change as they grow and develop. Rex went from tiny poos to medium ish ones that reminded me of frosting on a cupcake! Sorry to any cupcake fanatics reading this. Now Rex is 3 months old his poos have changed dramatically and by dramatically I mean mount Vesuvius has just exploded in his nappy! My god have we had some smashers! Some so bad it takes 2 of us to change him. Then there’s the emergency bath poo. You know the one I mean! Where the baby is basically covered head to toe in shit that you need to get the poo police involved. The silent ones are probabley the worst because you don’t know how long theve been sat in it for squishing it all around their arse making it doubly hard to clean up! The ultimate worst poo is the wrigler! The one where baby will not keep still! You’ve got one had holding the legs up the other hand wiping and baby is just playing the Hokey Cokey with it’s dirty nappy, you’ve not seen shit spread so quickly in all your life!
And that concludes my summery of nasty nappies!
Happy changing peeps!
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The Z word 