The Grim Sleeper

Goodness fucking grief, I’d like to know what on earth I did in a previous life to deserve this amount of sleeping fuckery from a 6 month old very cute but very angry little sleeper I call my daughter.

Let me cast your mind back to June 2023 I’d just given birth and like all parents knew I was not going to get any sleep for the forseable future. But the most magical and unexpected thing happend. My bloody brillaint baby only went and slept through the night on her first ever night earth side! And the only way I realised was by the midwife waking me up at 7am to feed her! This has to be a fluke! She was clearly just tired from all that hard work of pushing herself out of her mums va j j!

So anyway after a few days in hospital (sleeping) mostly for River we go home and yup you guessed it im ready for the night feeds and the sleepless nights. But to my astonishment they never came! My baby was sleeping through the night EVERY NIGHT. I felt like I’d won the lottery, when all these people would ask me how she sleeps expecting me to be severly sleep deprived carrying big bags for life under my eyes nobody could quite believe what an absolute little fucking legend she was! I’d never gotton so much sleep, I felt amazing and refreshed every morning and you know I’d secertly brag about it to everyone.

But let me tell you what I’m about to tell you and that’s never count your chickens or be a stupid fuck wit and brag about something that can and did get taken away very quickly. That’s right my bragging rights were officially over, aswell as my sleep and sanity all in the click of a finger. 3 months of my perfect little darling sleeping through the night came to an abrupt stop suddenly and devastatingly to soon. That’s right the little bugger has turned into the grim sleeper! My poor body doesn’t know what’s hit it, 2 or 3 wakes up a night we are currently on, I’m basically the walking fucking dead minus the zombies. Fumbling around in the dark, one eye open trying not to trip down the stairs, somehow make a bottle up and get back up the stairs all in the dark is a miracle. How a little princess can change into a little sleep deprived devil at the drop of a hat is something I cannot understand or get on board with. We’ve had strong words with the little munchkin but still she dares to continually deprive me of more and more sleep. And it’s all my bloody fault… if only I hadn’t of bragged, karma well and truley got me back didn’t it! I’ve forgotton what a full nights sleep looks like, I think over time my body has just become accustomed to getting up at stupid o clock, somehow managing to throw a bottle together and feeding said child whilst trying to keep my eyes open and let me tell you there’s been a few near misses where I’ve been feeding and the next thing I know my head has suddenly dropped where I’ve fallen asleep for a split second. We’ve all been there, it’s a party I hope I’m not invited to again.

I guess everyone’s luck runs out eventually… all jokes aside truthly I don’t care. As long as she’s happy and healthy I will stay up all night for her. (Please don’t hold me to that River!) here’s hoping the grim sleeper turns into sleeping beauty sometime in the near future

Z

Xxx