I’ve not long got home from a miwife and perinatal mental health appoitment and I’m feeling so Incredibly humbled and lucky that I have the BEST midwife and medical professionals around me and I’d like to tell you a little about it.
When I fell pregant for a second time I was really praying I’d have the same midwife as I had before as she was so wonderful and treated me so well. So you can imagine my excitement when I found out I had the same midwife the second time around! her name is Becky and she is just incredible, she not only looks after my health during pregnancy but my mental health and she’s so caring and really goes out of her way to make me feel comfortable and happy. We always chat about day to day stuff it’s like seeing an old friend. She’s talked through my grief with me and done absolutely everything she can to make me feel ok I honestly couldn’t ask for better care and I am really going to miss her once I’m no longer pregnant.
Luckily for me my mental health was fine during my first pregnancy so I had no extra support as I really didn’t need it. This time around has been slightly different. For a couple of different reasons my mental health hasn’t been 100% this time around which makes me quite sad as I should be enjoying my pregnancy but sadly that hasn’t always been the case this time. And so my midwife referred me to the perinatal mental health team who specialise in helping pregnant women. I was really quite frightened at first as I wasn’t sure what to expect. Initially I had a video call with a lady which I wrote about in a previous blog. Which was kind of uncomfortable to say the least video calling someone you’ve never met to talk about really personal private things anyway this time around I would be meeting them face to face at the same time as my midwife which already made me feel more comfortable.
So today off I went to the appointment feeling really nervous and not quite sure what to expect there were 4 of us in the room, the midwife, perinatal mental health nurse me and a student midwife and we chatted and made a plan for the birth. Going through things that might trigger me to feel bad and things they can do to help me such as being put in a private quiet room by myself and not on a ward which I have to say is going to be a massive help. Talking through my anixetys becaue my last birth was so bad I’m terrified of the same thing happening again. Theve even talked about possibly having a planned induction so that I don’t have the anixety of going into labour at home but I’m not to sure how I feel about that. Aswel as all this once I’m in hospital they will make sure I’m having constant conversations about how I’m feeling with the midwives and doctors and monitoring my sleep because when I don’t sleep thats when I tend to get poorly so we got all that sorted plus some other bits and peices including a visit from a mental health doctor before I am discharged home just to check all is well. On top of that I also get support once I’ve left the hospital with baby. Which to be honest is what I’m most worried about. Having a 3-4 week old baby during the second anniversary of my brothers death is at this moment just unimaginable to me because last year I completely broke down the night before and was walking the streets balling my eyes out at 2am so I’m going to need a lot of extra support this time around, so they’ve already booked me in to see them right before the anniversary which already feels like a weight off my shoulders. And after my appointment today I am confident they are going to look after me.
So birth plan for my mental health is done and ticked off the list which up until the other day I didn’t even know such a thing existed!! But I’m really glad it does. Now for the actual birth plan? Nah not a chance. If I learnt anything the first time around it’s not to plan because you can plan as much as you want how you want to give birth but the matter of fact is it’s probably not going to go the way you planned.
All I can hope for is a smooth ride mentally and physically, the way it’s looking I’ve got all the right support in place to make that happen.
Z
Xxx
The Z word 
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