Labour … My story

Well here we are again. It finally happened… I’ve given birth to my beautiful baby girl and as I have a few spare moments whilst recovering in hospital I thought I’d tell you all about it.

NOW… can I just throw a disclaimer out there. What I’m about to tell you isn’t going to be pretty, not all births are what I’m about to describe to you so please if your expecting and don’t want to be frightened out of your mind please stop reading now.

So as we all know it was decided that I was to be induced. so off we went up the hospital on Monday the 26th June 2023. To be there for 6:30am! Early start already lol. Once we arrived we got comfy in a little side room whilst I had all my obs done then it was time!! Time to try and start me off. I had zero hopes that this would actually work because well to be frank it didn’t work before. But I will give anything a go. So in we went straight in with a gel. Basically I had a gel like substance inserted up ⬆️ there. what it’s supposed to do is set off all the right hormones soften my cervix and get me into Labour. Less than an hour in and I could already feel some very light contractions. Holy shit this is actually working!! And so we went on for a few hours contractions getting more intense but nothing more than a really sharp period pain. Bouncing up and down on my giant ball trying to help things along but sadly for some unknown reason my contractions went away. So it was lunch time and the safest thing on the menu felt like a cheese sandwich so that’s what I went for and it wasn’t to to bad as hospital food goes.

So it was decided I would be sent down to delivery suite and have my waters broken!! Now it was like 6pm at this point, we’d been in a tiny room for 12 hours I can’t even explain how fucking fed up and bored we were. Sadly we had to wait another 2 sodding hours before they took us down to delivery so by the time we actually got down and settled it was gone 9pm. so what else was there to do except play catch with that giant ball I was bouncing on earlier 😂

Poor old hubby was exhausted as was I but we had to power through as it was going to be a very long night! Now I really hoped to avoid being put on a hormone drip to induce labour as the last time it made me so so sick but it was decided I needed the drip and to have my waters broken. So first up was my waters. Fucking hell first drama of the evening. I do not remember it being that painful and invasive!! The midwife practally had her whole hand up me trying to pop those bad boys and god did it hurt me. I got so upset you know when you just can’t stop yourself from crying I was in a right old state. I tried some gas and air but that stuff is gross and makes me feel like I’m going to throw up!! But ofcorse they manged to get it done with minimal mess and I survived (just about) so that was it… the plan was to wait for 2 hours to see wether I progressed further and then put me on the drip. Thankfully I did start contracting again and at a more painful rate but sadly it wasn’t enough so the decision was made to get that drip in me and get going. Unfortunately for me I already know how fucking painful labour is once you have the hormone drip and your body is forced to contract so I decided I wasn’t messing around with that shit again and asked for an epidural. Literally 20 or so minutes later in comes the man with the epidural! And I’ve never been so relieved. Getting that in your spine is a right old palava though. They say “it shouldn’t be painful” but it bloody is and feeling a needle go into your spine is one of the worst things you could ever feel it makes a popping noise as it goes in! The thought of it now makes me feel queasy!! Anyway we ploughed on through and got it in so I could relax with no pain after that. By this point it was early hours of the morning poor old hubby was exhausted and set up camp on the floor to have a quick sleep whilst nothing was happening.

A small while later is when things really started to go down hill. Now this is the only time you will hear me say anything bad about the treatment I’ve had in hospital. The midwives had popped out to do something and told us to ring the buzzer if we needed anything. All of a sudden my eyes went blurry, I was very hot and felt sick and just knew I was going to faint, obviously I couldn’t move due to the epidural so couldn’t lay down or get on the floor poor husband didn’t know what to do. I managed to ring the buzzer and tell them I think I’m going to pass out. but they never came and I’ve never been so frightened in my life. It felt like forever before they came rushing in the room to get me sorted because my blood pressure had dropped alot hence me almost passing out I was so frightned something really bad was happening to me It was fucking horrible and they had to monitor me and baby really closely for the next few hours because it had distressed her.

The hours went by it was god knows what time In the morning I hadn’t slept since Saturday night (bare in mind we are now on Tuesday morning) my body was just giving up, I lay on the bed crying and having little panic attacks because my body just couldn’t go anymore. I’d had enough. I manged to make it to around the 8am mark when the staff change over happend and all of a sudden the midwife jumped up with excitement and said this baby is coming!! Bless the midwives who’d been with me all night and we’re about to go home they said they would stay to see baby born! Ahhhh shit i now have to push this baby out. So off we went. PUSHHHHHHH so I did, and they told me I was doing really well. Then all of a sudden I had that feeling in the bottom of my stomach and I knew what was about to happen. I was violently fucking sick EVERYWHERE over and over again so much so I had nothing left in my stomach and ended up gagging and choking because I just had nothing left. As well as this I also had to keep trying to push this sodding baby out. I just couldn’t do it, hysterically crying being sick and with a baby half hanging out of my fanny I was done so so done. I tried.

So sadly a doctor had to come in and explain to me we needed to help baby out with forceps. Not again! Suddenly there seemed to be about 8-9 people in the room who had come to help and I cried and cried at the thought of being ripped apart by 2 giant metal things. But by now baby was in distress and I had no choice and not really much time to even think about it before I knew it they’d injected me with some anesthetic with no time to go to theatre it was done in the delivery room with no curtain up so I saw absolutely everything they had them forceps in before i could even blink. Jesus Christ there’s no other feeling like that let me tell you luckily it wasn’t pain just a fullness I swear I felt them up in my ribs! Then she picked up the scapal and I just knew I was about to be cut from arse to ear. By this time I’m now In distress panicking crying whilst trying to push. After one huge push and a pull from the doctors end her head was out!! I’m half way there!! I can do this…. Next contraction coming up and the doctor litlerry puts her foot up on the table and pulls with all of her might and BAM baby is here… my little River thrown up on my chest crying, I’m crying, hubbys crying she’s here I did it!!! It’s all over!! The hard part is done. Or so I thought….

Of course in true Zoe style nothing ever goes the way it’s supposted to. In comes running in some more doctors, I’m losing blood. Not again! All I could see was tissue and patches drenched in blood and the doctor trying to stop it as quick as she could. I had stuff injected into me to try and stop the bleeding Then all of a sudden I felt sick again. Someone had to grab the baby off me so I could throw up again and again and again, whilst still being stitched I was getting it from both ends. I also felt very very hot so there was a mad rush to get my temperature down But it was too late I was so hot it made me delirious, I couldn’t see, I couldn’t speak I wanted to rip my skin off and I was still being very sick. I’d just had my baby and I couldnt hold her, change her, dress or cuddle her and that’s what hurt the most without sounding dramatic I felt like I was going to die. My skin was burning they had 2 fans on me wet towels on my head and I still felt as hot as a volcano. I don’t even remember them finishing stitching me up I don’t think I was even on planet earth at this point I was so Poorly I just wanted to die I couldn’t even hold my own head up all I really remember is laying on the bed shouting for someone to please help me. I’d didn’t know who had my baby where she was or anything. My body was in the gutter. Anyway eventually things calmed down I had an injection to stop the sickness and I got wheeled round to obversation ward where I had to quickly have antibiotics through a drip pain killers and yet more sick bowls despite the antisicknesss injection. My baby was hours old and I still hadn’t properly held her. I had blood gushing out of me down below with no way of clearing it up so I had to let the midwives change my pants and pads and clean me up which was humiliating but bugger me those women deserve a medal! The stuff they helped me with was just very overwhelming one lovely midwife even brushed and put my hair up in a bun for me. Hubby went home a few hours later and I had to watch as the midwives fed and change my baby girl as my body still was just numb and sore I felt such a failure. It was getting on for 4pm and I still hadn’t held her properly except for a few seconds once she was born. I hadn’t even spoken to anyone yet either so I gave mum a message and she called me and I just broke down hysterically crying so she jumped in the car and came up to the hospital.

Still on observation ward it’s getting on for dinner time and they bring me a plate of food that looks like a bloody dogs dinner the site of it anyway after all that being sick I really couldn’t stomach anything more so I asked for another cheese sandwich for later on. Before I was allowed to go up to my room I had to beable to stand up and walk. So yeah that was a barrel of laughs trying to get out of bed and I forgot to mention I had a catheter in so I also have to walk around with a bag if my own piss attached to me. Big thumbs up for that. But by the miracle of god I somehow got out of bed and did a few steps across the room managed some toast and water and it was decided I could go up! Yay. So off we went up to my final destination. I’m so lucky to get a room to myself. I had a fridge, tv and private toilet and shower. It almost felt like a hotel room. The only thing to do now was try and have my first wee…. That’s fun trying to sit down on the toilet with god knows how many stitches don’t even get me started on what it’s like taking a shit!! Dinner time arrived and you guessed it another cheese sandwich! You’d think I’d be sick of cheese sandwiches by now but I’m not quite brave enough to try the “real” hospital food. So me and baby got comfortable for the night.

Fast forward to the next morning we had a comfortable night except the midwife keep coming in during the night to do our blood pressure and give me pain relief. Quite early this morning I had a visit from a doctor who came to speak to me about the blood loss it turns out I lost quite abit approx 1.5 litres… then I get hit with the news I need a blood transfusion. Obviously I consented but a part of me felt super weird having someone else’s blood put into me. So off we went downstairs to have the transfusion I had to go through a load of stuff and confirm my blood type then off we went…. Drip drip drip so that took a couple of hours me and baby just lead there chilling whilst the magic happend, then the midwife came round and asked what I’d like to eat as I needed to because of the transfusion. Any guesses what I went for? You’d think I’d be sick of cheese sandwiches by now but honestly they are rather quite good, easy to eat and the safest option.

So that took a couple of hours then me and baby were allowed to go back up to our room where we had a visit from hubby and Rex! Which was amazing I got very tearful seeing my little boy after what I’d just gone through. So we ordered a McDonalds to the hospital (Yes you can do that) and all sat and had food together and Rex had his first cuddle with his baby sis.

Night time came around again and after tonight’s obs I got given these ridiclous looking socks to cover my legs because they are so bloody swollen I can hardly walk on my feet.

So another night of observations and we’re told we can be discharged today! So all we have to do is wait around for the discharge papers, medication and to have my Cannula out. Which took alllllll day! One more cheese sandwich just to see me off properly and lots more waiting But hey ho we got there in the end so off I went with my medication and new baby to start a new chapter at home.

I’d like to thank all the staff at the John Radcliffe hospital for wiping my tears away, changing my pants for me, getting covered in my sick and taking real good care of me and not forgetting supplying me with all those cheese sandwiches! Those guys deserve the world and more! God bless the NHS 💙