Mum with a fat tum

That’s right as I’m approaching week 35 ( 5 weeks to go! ) I am a very proud mum with a fat tum! This last few weeks I have done a lot of growing and according to my pregnancy app baby is almost at his last stage of growing and will soon be the size of a watermelon! A BLOODY WATERMELON!

My healthy eating has really gone out the window these last few weeks I consumed far to many Easter eggs and I suddenly have a bad craving for anything chocolate! so its not surprising I’ve put on a bit of beef in my last trimester. Usually I would be devouring a share bag of malteasers crying at how fat I’m getting but this time I honestly couldn’t give 2 shits how much weight I’ve put on. I’ve already planned how I’m going to lose weight once the littleun is here. So rack the malteasers up baby !!

Some perks and downfalls of being a mum with a fat tum are laugh your socks off funny or cry yourself to sleep emotional. I will start with the funny… Have you ever had a lovely relaxing bath with candles and bubbles and chilled with a book? isn’t it just the best way to relax? Yeah well try being almost 9 months pregnant enjoying said bath until the time comes to get out… I tend to call the crane in advance now so its ready to reverse into my bathroom to lift me out safely in one piece. The other “perk” If you could call it that is we can get away with wearing the most gigantic knickers known to man kind! and yes they are bloody comfortable even if it looks like reading festival in my back garden whilst they hang on the line to dry I don’t care ( sorry neighbours ) They are the kind of tent even Post Malone would be proud to headline in!

Having a huge bump comes with some slight disadvantages, I haven’t seen my lady bits since about month 5 and as I’m not proud to admit this but my huge reading festival pants come in handy containing the forest that befalls my lady region. My biggest problem at the moment is thinking of a way to shall we say “tidy up” the 100 acre woods inside my giant knickers, I’ve heard a very nasty rumour that if you turn up at hospital in labour with a hairy muff that the midwives do the job for you. No way is anyone else coming near me with a razor down there, a plan of action is drastically needed before D Day!
So those are the funny bits I suppose you could say of being pregnant, what’s the downfalls of being a mum with a fat tum? Pain… yes total aches and pains of the whole bumpage can really knock you when you are down, fortunately I bought this pregnancy belt from amazon that basically holds the bump up and stops the aches and strains, I just look like I’m going rock climbing! I think I’ve covered the emotional side of being a fatty in other blog posts so I wont bore you all again with that except to say its perfectly acceptable to sit and cry into a cup of tea for absolutely no reason!

My bump got measured the other day whilst at the midwife and I’m very happy to report that I am perfectly within the guidelines for bump measurements! the guide lines are something like you shouldn’t measure more than your week of pregnancy so for example I was 33 weeks and I measured 32cm from top to bottom of my bump which I’m told is very normal and healthy. YAY! As these next few weeks pass I have so many hospital and midwife appointments I guess that’s all normal as we approach the end. For now and the next few weeks I’m a mum with a fat tum and proud of it!



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