How to fail at slimming world…

I’ve been rather busy this week subsequently I don’t really have any mummy stories to tell you this week but instead I’m going to tell you something I experienced 5 days ago.

We’ve all heard of slimming world right? Well for those of you who haven’t let me enlighten you on what you are missing out on.

I’ve decided I need to lose weight! Like most mums after having a baby I’m left with a lot of wobbly bits and fat I never knew I was carrying! I can’t do my usual method of running regularly as my muscles still arnt compleatly healed and I have a baby to look after incase you didn’t know! So I decided to give slimming world a whirl and here’s how I got on…..

Day 5 and I’ve had coco pops for breakfast and lunch. Can you tell how well it’s going? In reality slimming world is pretty simple and straight forward the logistics work and a lot of people lose a lot of weight successfully so I used this as my inspiration.

Off I went with Rex in tow to sign up to my local group. Little did I know this week was “woman of the year week” which meant a lot of very inspirational ladies stood up to tell their stories and my we’re some of them tearjerkers what a very inspirational bunch of People! So I got weighed and had a chat to the lady who runs the group and got sent home to start my first week with my slimming world pack and off I went.

Let me explain the slimming word basics for you ( of what I understand ) which is still very little at this moment!! Any slimming world ladies or men please feel free to correct me if I’m wrong… All or most fruit and veg is “free” which basically means I can shove as much as this in my big fat gob as I want. Then you have healthy extras you can choose from such as brown bread… 1 slice a day! Who makes a sandwich with 1 slice of bread? Most meat and fish is free aslong as fat and skin is removed, who ever eats the fat on a steak is bonkers in my eyes anyway! Milk and cheese needs to be weighed every day “eye rolls” then you have the best section in my eyes the SYNS! A big old list of all the bad stuff we arnt supposted to eat but can on slimming world as long as we don’t go over “15 syns” a day it may be 16 I need to check on that one! Things like cake,chocolate, biscuits ect but to my surprise even things like bread yogurt and cereal are syns! A bagel is 11 syns A BLOODY BAGEL ! maybe if they made the holes bigger I could have 2 of them for my lunch?! So that’s the logistics of slimming world easy right?

Let me tell you how to fail at slimming world and not just any fail I’m talking an epic fail! First night I get home after seeing to the baby cooking dinner tidying up washing bottles ect i finally sit down about 10pm and try and have a read of my new slimming world book. Then I get this feeling in my stomach like a knife has been twisted into my guts. My good old friend anxiety is back for a visit ( hopefully flying) and I just think to myself what the fuck am I doing ? I’ve just had a baby I barely have time to get dressed some days let alone plan and prepare and check what I can eat all the time.

I don’t know how I didn’t cry that night because I just thought to myself what do I do because if I don’t go back I’ve failed and if I try and fail then I’ve definitely failed so either way I’m a loser. I didn’t get much sleep that night worrying about it not knowing what to do. The following morning I woke up and decided I’m going to give it a shot. So I prepared all these plastic pots of healthy pasta and rice things for lunch for the next few days and I felt really accomplished.

The following morning after being up with the baby all night and feeling really tearful again I just thought what am I doing? I felt so much pressure to eat all these things and check in the book if I could eat them, gone we’re the days of opening up the cupboard and just randomly picking something to eat. After having a mini melt down over the whole situation I did what any girl wanting to lose weight would do… drowned my sorrows in a share bag of malteasers clearly that was the answer to all my problems! Even after lots of advice from friends who do slimming world for the sake of my mental health I decided I needed to stop, just for now anyway untill the baby is older and I know what I’m actually doing on a day to day basis, counting syns and cooking meals from scratch (as lazy as that sounds) was the last thing I needed as I’ve got enough on my plate already, no pun intended!!

And to be honest I felt a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders, one less thing I need to think about right now, am I happy about it? Not really, I do feel like I’ve failed miserably I feel embarrassed to even message the lady who runs the group saying I won’t be back, I know I’m going to be judged and probably called lazy but right now my priority is looking after my baby and trying to look after myself to.

And that’s how you fail at slimming world!



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