Weighty biscuit

I don’t know about you larger ladies but I’m fucking fed up of being fat! To the point it’s making me depressed again. But since having Rex I cannot stop eating and the weight is just piling on like nobody’s business. The fatter I get the more I want to comfort eat and the more I comfort eat the fatter I get so im going round in circles !!

Roughly a year and a half ago I had the pleasure of being Called a weighty biscuit by some fucker online. I think his exact words were and I quote “run a full marathon you weighty biscuit” because clearly running a half marathon is easy right? Anyway to hell with that mother fucker, since that time the phrase weighty biscuit has stuck in my head and right now if I was to bump into that prick offline I would probably shake his hand because right now I am a weighty biscuit!

Whenever I comment on how I feel about my weight everybody’s response is YOU’VE JUST HAD A BABY. Yes you are all right I have just had a baby and yes it’s made me fatter than I was before but that doesn’t take away how I feel about myself. So please do me a favour, if I complain about my weight to you please don’t answer with “well you’ve just had a baby” because I might just lose it ! Just lately within the last few weeks I’ve started to notice I’ve really piled on the pounds. I feel so discusting and fat and like everybody is judging me . I walk down the street and get so parioned that everyone is looking at me thinking “wow she’s fat” I feel like my friends are embarrassed to be seen with me and Mr M is stuck with a fat lump that he never signed up for.

Currently I have an extra tyre round my middle, bingo wings grandma would be proud of and an ass the size of Australia. I’m wearing black leggings and unflattering t shirts to hide the enormity that are my giant flabby boobies, my double chin has gone up a size and my ancles have fused to my feet.

It sucks !! And yes I only have myself to blame. If only I stopped shoving those chocolate biscuits down me like a homeless man at a buffet and stopped gorging on pizza and chips like dominos is about to go bust. maybe I would look like I used to. The Zoe that I used to like the one who had will power went on a diet ran regularly and made good life style choices, the Zoe that I used to be proud of, if only I had that umph to do something.

It’s time I took back some self control, it’s time to like the way I look and feel proud of myself again. It’s time to drop the junk and pick up the healthy stuff. It’s time to get my running shoes back on and have an end goal to aim for.

So the fridge is choca with veg and yogurt, the fruit bowl is stacked with delicious fruit, Mr Ms chocolate and biscuits for his lunch box are hidden away in a cupboard and my running shoes are dusted off ready to pound those pavements again. The couch to 5k app is downloaded and ready to go!

This weighty biscuit is gonna give it her all and be the person I used to like again. It’s gonna be hard it’s gonna be painful but it will be worth it to look in the mirror and like how I look! Will I do it? Stay tuned to find out …

Z

Xxx