Jesus bollocking Christ I feel SO UNCOMFORTABLE and I need to tell you all about it before I explode with sheer umcomfortableness.

Something I’m experiencing for the first time… bum pain! What the actual fuck. Bum pain? Yes! My arse bloody aches so bad at times I wonder wether I’ve actually started early labour or sat on a bag of rocks. Why on earth is my bum hurting. Of all things that could get sore during this time I never thought my bottom would be suffering so!

Moving up, the bump!! Hard as a rock very sore tight and very uncomfortable. Fat and in the way, it’s just annoying and very very irritating, some days it’s even a chore just to get up from the sofa, other days (Like today) it just makes me want to rip my skin off because I’m so uncomfortable. I fail miserably every morning trying to put my own socks on and don’t even get my started about trying to pull my trousers up unaided. Rolling out of bed in the morning is a whole diffrent story.

Next is quite unsetteling. Who knew you could get fanny pain during this glorious time. Like wtf is happening with the v Jay Jay… I don’t think I need to say much more so will just leave it at that for now.

Boobies! Oh the glorious magnisifinant things put on earth to annoy the shit out of any pregnant women. Not only do they grow significantly, but my bloody nipples either hurt like fuck or itch so bad I have to wip my bra off as soon as I get in the front door! My bra only just contains the beasts these days. And don’t even get me started on the boob sweat during a mildly warm day.

Have I spoken about how bloody swollen everything gets?? My feet are like a yetis, swelling up so I can just about get my shoes on each morning. I darent take them off in fear i won’t get them back on again. My big fat sausage fingers are really not the most appealing feature on my body right now, all my rings have had to come off because I really didn’t fancy a trip down to the hospital to get them removed. And on the bad days I can barely just make a fist. But hey ho we solider on.

I bet your thinking I’m a right old whinge bag. But hey I’m fat I’m pregnant and I’m allowed to whinge every now and again. Specially rolling a round like an umpa lumpa and. about to pop.

So there you have it. That’s my whinge done for the day. Untill next time 👍



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