So this Friday just gone I officially entered my 8th month of pregnancy! its been a long old road since I first decided I wanted to be a mummy. I used to panic all the time that I wouldn’t be able to get pregnant and that I would never be a mother and just grow old and be lonely
and childless forever.
But alas! I panicked over nothing as I’m soon to be a mummy which I so forever longed for, as the days and weeks pass its suddenly getting really real that soon I am going to have a baby YES A BABY! a teeny tiny little person who is completely dependant on me! Holy shit…
can I do this? can I manage to look after a baby? I did manage to keep my hamster alive for 3 years who died of natural causes in case you are wondering if I accidently hovered the poor sod up or something! (RIP Louis) so how much harder can this be? well I’m about to find out.
As a natural panicker its only normal for me to start panicking round about now, I’ve managed to get through the early stage of panicking weather baby is growing ok and weather he’s got 2 heads or not. I’ve come to terms with the whole pushing a watermelon out of my vagina thing and I’m feeling pretty okay with it. I mean millions of women have done this before right? its what our bodies are designed to do! I think I wont start panicking about this until the day my waters break and I’m running round like a headless chicken trying to get myself ready for hospital.
Right now the panic has set in about what I’m going to do once the baby is born…
what happens once he’s out? I’ve never so much as dressed a baby let alone changed a shitty nappy! who teaches you these simple things? What baby clothes do I even take to the hospital? I have so many stupid questions. I guess it will all come natural to me (hopefully)
In the meantime I’m starting to panic about other things such as how will I know if he’s to hot or cold? how will I know what he wants and when and the absolute worst what if I’m not a good mum? My absolute worst fear is what if I accidently drop him! I want to cry just thinking about it now. I could write a list as long as my arm about all the things I’m panicking about and I suppose its only natural to worry about these things.
I am genuinely really frightened about being a new mum and all the really silly little things that come with it as usual I’m being over paranoid and over cautious with everything!! I have a funny feeling I’m not alone in my fears as every mum just wants the best for their little humans. So for now I am being a Mrs Panicky poo but I wouldn’t have it any other way because it shows I care and want everything to be ok for my little boy.
So for all the pregnant ladies reading this don’t be afraid to panic its only natural.