The Z word

Category: pregnancy

  • Wiltshire Air Ambulance and why it means so much to us 💚💛

    This is a a post I’d never thought I’d have to write. But what I’ve learnt from my young life is that when something bad happens you have to try and find a way to do some good. And that’s exactly what happend to me and my family and I’d like to talk to you about Wiltshire air ambulance and why it means so much to us.

    On the 23rd July 2021 my brother was walking home from work when tragically he had a very severe asthma attack and very very sadly he could not be saved. We knew the air ambulance had attended to help, we just didn’t know which one. Even though it was too late for Mike who never made it aboard that helicopter. Watching it fly away knowing he should have been on there broke my heart. But the gratitude I had towards those brave doctors I can’t even put into words how I feel about those guys, at the time we said our Thankyous and they went on their way.

    Sometime later we as a family decided we needed to raise some money in Mikes. memory. But we had no idea who had attended, after some digging and contacting local authorities we found out that both Thames valley ambulance and Wiltshire air ambulance both attended. I was advised if I wanted to raise some money to do it for Wiltshire as the cost to them was much greater. Aswel as this I had a beautiful email from a very kind lady explaining what had happend that night, who the doctors were and basically saying if we needed anything they are there for us which really touched us. So I’d like to give a massive Thankyou to the team from Thames valley ambulance service Dr Chris and critical care paramedic Kurtis if you are reading this you are both hero’s.

    So some time later we decided to start fundraising, initially we were inundated with donations in mikes memory which was absolutely fantastic but we decided we needed to raise as much as possible. I got put into contact with a lovely lady called Katy, who has stayed in contact with us throughout and helped us in anyway she can by sending out t shirts and anything we need to fundraise. Massive thanks to Katy for continuing to keep in contact and support us.

    That December we got invited up to Wiltshire to a Christmas memorial service so off we went not really knowing what to expect and of corse we were an hour late and missed the whole thing! But we did get to stay around and have a chat to some lovely people from the charity, and would you believe it we found and got talking to paramedic Ben who attended and tried to help save Mike. I’m not going to lie I felt so emotional meeting Ben what an incredible human being doing all he did, I’m not to sure who else attended from Wiltshire that night but our gratitudes go out to everyone who tried to help. Not so long after we took part In a charity fun run in Swindon where we also bumped into Ben again. Here we are just before the fun run kicked off.

    Since then we’ve held countless quiz nights, Christmas sales, Easter cake sales sold waffles and even had an 80s disco!! Mum and her sister walked a marathon and we’ve made thousands just on raffles alone. A brave friend of mine has done a sky dive and I’ve had family members do charity runs. It really is very overwhelming and our total currently stands at £11,465!

    Here are just a few pictures of what we’ve been up to…

    Before I leave you I’d like to tell you some really important stuff about the Wiltshire air ambulance. They get no funding what so ever from the goverment, it costs on average £11,000 a day to keep the ambulance in the sky! Which equates to about 4 million pounds a year!! I almost fell off my chair when I heard that for the first time! So you can see how important all our fundraising is and just how important the air ambulance service is. Mikes memory lives on in our fundraising and I personally will continue to raise money for this charity till the day I die.

    And to Wiltshire air ambulnace Thankyou for all you continue to do 💚💛

    Z

    Xxx

  • My Brother Mike

    I’ve had this blog post in my head for a while now and I’m finally ready to tell you all about my brother Mike. Unfortuantly he is no longer here so this post is very bittersweet and also something for Myself to look back on in years to come. So let’s get down to it.

    Mike was born on December the 7th at the John Radcliffe in Oxford. He was named after my gramp who sadly passed away when mum was pregant with him. Funnily enough my dads name is also Michael so we had 3 Michaels in the family! I don’t remember much up until he was abit older because I was only a baba myself. There’s something you need to know about Mike. Unfortunately he suffered from very severe asthma and eczema from a very young age. And my first real memories of him are being plastered from head to toe in his eczema cream and wet wraps. He really did have it rough bless him. His skin was red raw all over his body I remember mum would sew gloves onto his clothes to stop him scratching till he bled. He used to lay on the carpet and roll around just to scratch his skin. If my memory serves me right I’m sure he was classed as one of the worst cases of eczema in the country and he actually had a little information book made about him which showed other people how to apply the creams and wet wraps. Below are some photos from that book that I’ve kept all these years.

    Mike and mum
    Mike helping others with their eczema struggles
    As you can see he was litlerry covered head to toe in cream and wraps.
    Me mum and Mike

    And so he grew, his eczema getting worse as he got older, mum and dad had terrible trouble once he started primary school, the cunt of a head teacher didn’t want him, they didn’t want to deal with his needs and my mum had to fight tooth and nail to get him the help he needed to apply his creams at school and give him his inhailer when he needed it. He couldn’t play outside at playtime with the other children in the summer, during swimming lessons mum had to attend to hold him because he was so slippery because of all his creams he had to wear. He also had a slight nut allergy and milk allergy. Mum used to take all the chocolate out of his advent calender and replace it with gummy sweets or haribo. But don’t underestimate him, he didn’t let his struggles hold him back My God he was clever, witty funny and bloody bright! He’d sit and write stories and make his own comics. He loved computer games and he was so dam bright. Not only that he was funny! I remember once he told a rude joke to his teacher. “Miss why was there a que of men outside the pub called the ladies legs, because they were waiting for the ladies legs to open”bear in mind he was like 5 or 6 haha! He was just so much more than his illnesses. My lord did we used to bicker though! One time I remember cutting all the furr off his teddies! Naughty sister.

    Anyway let’s move on, Mike went to the same secondary school as me. His eczema was still very bad but it did get better I think for a few years. Mike thrived at secondary school. I’m pretty sure he got A’s in most of his subjects, he even set his blazer on fire once with a bunson burner. He didn’t have a lot of friends and he wasn’t the kind of person to go out. He kept himself to himself and that’s how he liked it. We had a lot of asthma scares over the years . The night of my prom I came home to an ambulance taking him away because of an asthma attack, a few years later I had a call in the middle of the night saying Mike was seriously unwell with his asthma and he spent a few nights in hospital. I guess it was always in the back of my mind how serious his asthma was but never did I actually think he would be taken away from us because of it.

    Mike was that clever he ended up getting accepted into university to study law!! My little brother studying law I was so proud! But also very nervous for him because of his nature how quiet and reserved he was. But off he went bags packed and ready to go. I’m not 100% sure how long he stayed at uni but what I do remember is how he really struggled being away from home and unfortunately he ended up coming back home which he was quite happy to do. So he moved back into mum and dads. He got a job in the local co op and that’s where he stayed. As long as he was happy who were any of us to judge. As well as being a brain box he loved learning new languages!! He taught himself Greek and was in the prosess of learning Japanese!

    So I guess we are almost up to present date. The Mike I remember as he was before he went is just the loveliest guy. He was very reserved we’d be lucky if we got 2 words out of him at the dinner table. He lived in his pyjamas and grunted more than he talked. He spent hours on computer games to anyone else he could come across as rude, but to us this was just Mike. He was a man of few words, he loved Christmas and spoiled us all rotten, every Christmas morning he’d pull the couch across the living room to make space for us all to open our pressies, one of many things that will never make Christmas the same again, he spoiled his nephew Rex always buying him dinosaur stuff. He also liked the really tacky Christmas tree decorations, like burgers and umbrellas. Which my mum hated but he used to hide on the tree. So now I collect the most tackiest and mismatched decorations I can find in his memory and I actually love them. He wasn’t a child person, I only have 2 photos of him holding Rex and I will always treasure those. I miss my brother every day, his wicked sence of humour, his cleverness and just him. The last time I ever saw him we enjoyed a Chinese round at mums house little did I know that would be the last time I would speak to him or see him. If I’d known my god I would have never left. Every night before I’m about to go to sleep I always tell Mike I love him and part of me hopes he can hear and knows. He was robbed of his future and I feel robbed for no longer having my brother but his legacy is all in the money we raise for the Wiltshire air ambulance he would be so proud. And I will continue to raise money for them till the day I die.

    I love you Mike and I will never forget you ❤️

    My favourite picture

    Z

    Xxx

  • Pissy pocket

    Chances are these days if you pass me in the street I’m more than likely conceling a hidden secret. What could it possibly be I hear you ask? Well the chances are if your walking past me in the street on any given day I’m more then likely to be carrying a pocket full of piss about my person. Now before you get all judgey hear me out…

    Let’s start this story with the why. Why on earth would I be walking around with a pissy pocket? Well that’s a question for the pregnancy gods who decided that how inconveniently we as child baring people have to do a wee sample every single god dam time we go to the midwife! Why are we blessed with this mildly annoying and somewhat messy difficult task of gathering our own piss? Basically it’s to check for pre-eclampsia which is a condition in pregnancy that can make mum and baby very unwell. *Touch wood* I’m all clear at present.

    So I guess I should follow with the how? Do we piss in some kind of jug or a funnel you know something to make the task in hand slightly easier and stress free. Hell no that would be way to easy, sod that said the idiotic cretin who invented this impossible yet mildly comical excercise. Nah we will go with the WORLDS SMALLEST fucking test tube and just to make it extra fun we will stick a paper label on the tube just to let every fucker who sees you with this tube know that you actually can’t aim for shit. Now for the second how… how does one elegantly not only find that teeny tiny pee whole but find it and actually aim into that sodding test tube, all the while whilst manoeuvring around that big pregnant belly blind because let’s be honest here at 6 months pregnant your fanny has basically been reported as missing, you ain’t got no chance of seeing that thing for a while yet! Which just adds that extra bit of excitement wondering if you are actually A.) Even 10 feet near your piss hole or B.) completely missing the minuscule little pot abandoning mission compleatly and having the sheer shame of telling the midwife you can’t aim for shit.

    So. If your some fucking magician and miraculously get a sample in the pot with the lid safely screwed on you hold onto that pot like it’s worth a million dollars. And if that’s not enough you have to do all this in the comfort of your own home THEN get the pot of piss to the midwife as conspicuous as possible unless you don’t mind the whole world knowing the atrocities you just have or haven’t committed. Transportation usually for me involves wrapping that fucker up and sticking it in my pocket for safe keeping, praying it doesn’t jump out of my pocket en route leaving it for some poor bugger to find on the street. Entering the midwife’s room is like a big relief, it’s almost over, my pissy pocket is almost free and this ordeal is done, that is until the sample gets tested and you get handed another test tube to take home for next time!! Fuck my life!

    Until next time

    Z

    Xxx

  • Reduced movement. what to do if it happens to you.

    I am finally home from a long not so nice day and I’d like to tell you all about it. I’ve not been sleeping very well lately with one thing or another playing on my mind, mostly thinking about my brother but secondly I am over obsessing with a couple of little problems I’m having during this pregnancy. Problems being baby measuring to small and having an abnormality with her heartbeat. But that’s another story for another day.

    My baby is like her mum, she likes to sleep during the day and come alive at night, usually starting her little kicking party as soon as I get into bed. It’s almost become routine now that the second I lay down in bed she starts. But 2 days ago I noticed she’d been abit quiet, the odd little flutter here and there which could easily be mistaken for something else but that was it. I thought nothing of it. Untill the second night when again she just wasn’t there, that’s when the fear kinda set in and I started jiggling my tummy around to get her to move but still nothing. Now I’m really fucking panicking, thinking all sorts. It was the middle of the night so all i could do was try and go to sleep and stop being such a worry wart but that’s easier said then done when you live inside my head so after not much sleep and a lot of thinking the worst I finally got a few hours kip.

    Anyway the morning came around and I just couldn’t stop wondering if she was okay or not. My anxiety was taking over and I’d already decided in my head that something wasn’t right but I went to work and tried to keep busy but all day in the back of my head I kept telling myself I had to do something. But at the same time I don’t want to waste anybody’s time. But the thoughts just didn’t go away so I rang the lovely community midwife team and they told me to go up to Witney hospital to get checked over.

    I had such a lovely midwife, honestly made me feel so comfortable and reassured me. She done a few measurements of my stomach and other bits then she put the machine on me to find the heart beat and sure enough BOOM BOOM BOOM there she was! I immediately burst into tears I just felt so emotional and silly and relieved but glad I’d done the right thing. All through the appointment the midwife assured me I did the right thing in getting checked and deep down I knew she was right. The midwife reckons baby is laying with her back to my tummy which could be why I’m not feeling her move because she’s kicking the inside of me and not the outside but she said if im still worried over the weekend to go back. Which made me feel so much better feeling like I’d wasted their time.

    So I’d really like to just give some little facts about reduced movement in pregnancy that I’ve taken from the NHS website. If you are reading this and experiencing reduced moment please DO NOT TAKE THIS POST AS ADVICE. Seek medical help either with a doctor or midwife. This post is my personal story with a few bits thrown in for information. so here goes….

    •You should start to feel your baby move between 16-24 weeks although this is diffrent for everyone.

    •There is no set pattern for the movements of your baby.

    •If you are concerned or you haven’t felt your baby move in 24 hours call your midwife team as soon as possible

    •Do not feel like you are wasting anybody’s time, it is important to check your baby is well.

    •Most importantly PLEASE do not use a home doppler to locate baby’s heartbeat at home. These are so dangerous and not a reliable way to check baby’s heartbeat.

    So after my long ass day of worrying I’m finally home ready to go to bed and hopefully feel my little Princess break out into some dance moves. Thankyou for reading and I hope this post helps at least one person. But PLEASE remember call your midwife team straight away rather then reading my story and assuming it is the same for you.

    Z

    Xxx

  • Fatty boom boom

    Hey fatty boom boom! (Me talking to myself again.)Goodness gracious me my flabby bits seem to be multiplying quicker than a rat up a drain pipe. I mean I knew what I was getting my self into and let’s not beat about the bush I wasn’t exactly some sexy super model before getting myself into this situation but honestly it’s not a barrel of laughs being so big you can’t even get up in the morning without being pulled out of bed by a husband who finds it’s very humorous. It’s done nothing for my self confidence or self esteem but you have to laugh or you’d cry.

    What is it with the growing body bits during pregnancy, do we not have a hard enough time of it without growing to the size of a small elephant. Everything is rapidly getting bigger and bigger so much so I won’t be able to fit out the front door if I get much bigger.

    First things first is the most obvious thing about being pregnant the bump! The one thing I love about being pregnant the bump standing there front and center saying HELLO look at me look what I’m growing! No women should ever be ashamed or embarrassed about their bump, bumps are beautiful and should be embraced cherished and celebrated.

    Now let’s get down to the nitty gritty… My bum moves in ways I’ve only ever seen a duck walk. Waddling along like only a duck would do, my sides most likely blobbing up and down like some rapid waves of the sea, and don’t even get my started on my double actually make that triple chin! Small children could take cover from the rain under the copious amounts of rolls forming under my face. If I wasn’t classed as morbidly obese before I certainly ain’t far off reaching that goal now!

    And what’s going on with the bingo wings! I went to sleep one night and suddenly woke up an 80 year old flapping them arms around like nobody Is watching. I deffo have a lot of damage limitation to work on once I’ve popped this baby out. Don’t even get me started on the boobie situation! Seriously walking around all day with tits the size of France ain’t no mean feat! Taking that bra off at the end of the day runs the risk of putting 2 holes being put through my bedroom floor. The struggle is real guys, big boobies ain’t for the faint hearted and they ain’t just BIG they are hard as rocks and during cold weather feel like theve been sworn off with a rusty knife. Christ I’ve never known pain like it.

    So to summerise I’m now basically a walking waddeling baby elephant with tits the size of a small country morphed with a duck blubbering up and down. And part of me worries about how I look all day evey day. Then the other half of me couldn’t give 2 shits because hey I’m pregnant and I’m allowed to be fat. Fortunately for me I’ve had some lovely compliments from a couple of people who have said i look really beautiful pregant. Which I must say really made me smile. Because who doesn’t love a cheeky little compliment especially when your not feeling your best.

    So for now I’m going to continue waddling my big arse to becoming a big fatty fatty boom boom and worry about the flabby bits post birth. So untill next time…

    Z

    Xxx

  • Getting shitty

    I’m finally at that stage In pregnancy where pretty much my dignity and grace has gone out the window. They really should pre warn pregnant people how messy things can get at around 6 months. I know you’re dying to hear all about it so here goes…

    My it’s been windy lately, and I’m not talking about the weather here, more what’s been going on in my underpants I could win a Gold medal if burping and farting were an Olympic sport! And gosh have I left all my dignity at the door step.

    It all started one frightful evening. Actually it was just a normal evening at work. That was until I got half way home and suddenly felt that horrendous urge to shit myself, you know the one where the world is about to explode out of your backside and there’s absolutely sod all you can do about it!! God no this can’t be happening, I’m a 34 year old women walking home like some kind of chav trying my very hardest not to let shit litlerry fall from my arse. Luckily to my advantage it was pitch black so had the worst happend I doubt anybody would have seen, but as I’m walking I’m having to slow down because it’s there, you know… right there seconds from exploding and fucking hell I don’t know what to do, I start looking around for big leaves to wipe my sorry arse on incase the inevitable happens and I end up shitting on the pavement. Thoughts start flying around , christ if i actually do this I’m going to have to move towns, disown all my friends and start a new life where no bugger knows me. Scurrying home like some kind of disabled ferret i somehow by the grace of god made it home just in the nick of time before the whole world fell out of my arse, I’ve never felt so relieved in all my life.

    Now I really wish I could tell you that the above atrocities were a one time thing but unfortunately for me only a matter of weeks later something rather similar happend again. Except this time I was safety and the comfort of my own home, alone and getting very shitty! Now since my bump has been getting bigger the little madam inside me has been pushing all my organs up which makes it very uncomfortable to eat, sleep and basically be alive. I’ve had severe heartburn for days, and sickness. Then… it started again. That rumbling feeling deep inside my intestines, fuck. Sprinting to the bathroom with milliseconds to spare and when I say milliseconds I mean MILLISECONDS! My guts just fell out of me, I almost thought I’d given birth! That dreadful morning saw numerous very near misses dashing to the bathroom. Another day off work of corse I am not stepping outside my front door till I know I am 100% not going to shit my pants in public.

    And that my lovelies is the absolute pinnacle of being pregnant, lord help me get through the next 4 months without shitting anywhere but on a toilet!

    Z

    Xxx

  • Grief In pregnancy and the perinatal mental health team.

    I’ve kinda avoided writing this post just because it’s a hard topic to discuss but it’s also very important not just for me to talk about but to let others know they are not alone and that it’s ok not to be ok at one of the happiest times of your life. Can I just stress that I am absolutely okay now, I came through this the other side and ready to tell the story. So here goes…

    This baby was planned and wanted for well over a year, numerous failed attempts before we finally fell pregnant. During this time I was and still am grieving the loss of my little brother that will never go away. So when the test showed up positive it was instant happiness, finally something good not just for me but the whole family to look forward to. A new baby and a new start. The happiness didnt last long. A few weeks in I started to feel very down, about a lot of things, but mostly at the fact something good was happening and I was happy. Should I be happy? I guess I decided I shouldn’t be. Over the next few days my mood really dropped, I thought having a baby would solve everything, but the fact was it made me feel probably the worst I’ve ever felt in my whole entire life. And how could I tell anybody this? I couldn’t! At a time I should be filled with joy I’m feeling so depressed and lonely it went on for a few more days until this one particular day I couldn’t get dressed, I couldn’t play with Rex, i wasn’t showering or brushing my teeth and I just felt numb and lost and sad and to be quite frank I didn’t want to be alive anymore and that bloody scared me. With that came embarrassment shame and guilt for feeling this way when I was carrying a baby.

    There was absolutely nobody I could tell. Who the hell would understand I could be this low during one of the happiest times of my life. So I bit the bullet and phoned the GP surgery before it got worse it took a lot for me to do that. Anyway the receptionist was really snotty with me and asked if it was an emergency. Not being one to make a fuss I said well no but I do really need to talk to someone. And i got met with well there’s no appointments till next week. And with that I hung up the phone and sobbed and sobbed all afternoon. I needed help and didn’t know what to do.

    Later that evening I was plagued with very frightening thoughts and I thought this is it I need to do something right now. So I googled a certain word that I don’t want to repeat. And it came up with a charity called SHOUT which is a texting service 24/7 for anybody struggling mentally. What have I got to lose so I texted them. It takes around a hour for them to get back to you but once they have you just have a normal conversation. So I had a guy called Ron. Ron was fucking fantastic, I told him exactly how I was feeling, what has been going on and everything. I’d never met him or heard his voice so it was a lot easier to tell a “stranger” we talked for most of the night and it honestly like a massive weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I told him about the Shame and guilt I felt for feeling like this and he just made everything seem ok. I feel like that charity saved me that night. And honestly I managed to convince myself that feeling this way will not bring my brother back, there’s nothing I can do but get on with it so I did.

    *I will put all details of SHOUT at the end of this post*

    Some weeks later I had a midwife appointment and it must have come up on her computer about my previous mental health struggles so we chatted and I admitted how bad it had gotten at the beginging of my pregnancy and she suggested refuring me to the perinatal mental health team who specialise in helping pregant women. Unfortunately as they are such a specialised mental health unit they only offer video call appointments which I feel so awkward with! After cancelling a couple of times I finally plucked up the courage and had the appointment with a really lovely lady who asked me what had been happening and I explained and we chatted and decided together that actaully right now I am okay BUT if anything were to change to call them immediately otherwise I will hear from them when I reach 30 weeks. So I know they are there if I need them. we also agreed that really the time I’m most likely to need some extra support is post natal. Because I’m going to be 4 weeks post partum with a new born when the anniversary of my brothers death comes around. And that’s really not a great time for me let alone with no sleep and a new baby to think of.

    I guess the point of this post is to let anyone who’s struggling know that whatever your situation there is help available and your not alone. And for any pregnant ladies who may be going through the same thing. Please reach out to me I’d love to help wherever possible or just have a chat. Below are all the details for the charity about who I 10/10 recommend!!

    Text SHOUT to 85258 for a 24/7 free confidential service.

    Z

    Xxx

  • 21

    We made it. The 21 week scan! I think every milestone for a pregnant woman is somewhat a relief and an achievement because unfortunately as we all know things can go wrong at absolutely any stage. But we’re here safe and excited to see baby on the scan again today.

    For those who don’t know the 21 week scan is called an anomaly scan and what they are looking for/doing is measuring the baby and looking for any abnormalities like a cleft pallet, missing arm leg or foot or anything along those lines. Aswel as all that they can also determine baby’s sex! But we already know I’m having a girl so hopefully no blue suprises for me today!

    The scan was scheduled for 3pm at the John Radcliffe up in Oxford so I had the morning to take Rex out and do a few bits that needed doing. Off we headed for the hospital which took about an hour because of traffic! *sigh* for anyone visiting the JR just a heads up they have a new parking payment system which actually works out a hell of a lot cheaper then it used to be! And you do it all from your phone.

    Anyways up on level 4 in the women’s Center we went. Unfortunately for us they were short staffed which meant our appointment was an hour later than it should have been. Which didn’t do my bum any favours sat in one place for that long waiting and waiting to go in. Whilst waiting we had a research student approach us asking if we’d be willing to donate some of the baby’s blood to a research study for a really rare disease that affects baby’s. Doing this can help early detection and save baby and children’s lives so of corse I said yes after reading the information booklet.

    Then finally it was our turn to go in! Yippee! Up on the table I jumped leggings pulled down past my fanny so they can shove some paper towel down there, cold jelly applied and I was raring to go! The sonographer told us not to talk or ask questions whist she was scanning because she needed to concentrate which was really awkward because the whole way through she kept talking telling us what she was doing but we couldn’t answer.

    It’s incredible what they can tell from these scans. Me being the total novice obviously just saw blurry lines. The sonographer on the other hand was looking into baby’s brain, heart and kidneys, she found fingers and toes, blood vessels and did indeed confirm it is a little girl. They can tell which way the placenta is laying and all sorts. Seriously clever stuff. Anyway the scan was done and baby is all fine which is always a big relief. Me on the other hand not so much. She did indeed find a problem with one of my arteries that leads to the baby and actaully it shows that my artery isn’t open enough which means the baby gets less blood which could result in baby not growing how she should. OH SHIT! I knew it was to good to be true. Anyway we had a chat I asked some questions and it turns out the technical term for this is called Uterine artery Doppler ultrasound measurement. The good news is that it could mean baby being small or absolulty nothing could happen. It also turns out that If id been at any other hospital I wouldn’t even have known because the John Radcliffe are the only hospital in the county to scan for this certain artery. Which just makes me love this amazing hospital even more.

    So the plan is I need to have 3 extra scans (Which have already Been booked) plus extra appointments with my midwife just to check baby is growing correctly . I won’t lie I felt the fear of god go into me when they told me, just the word artery was enough to frighten me into next week my first thought was blood clot, blood loss and god knows what else. But now I have the facts and reassurance I feel alot better. I just need to keep my fingers and toes cross baby starts growing in the right direction.

    And that ladies and gentlemen is 21 weeks pregnant.

    Z

    Xxx

  • The Cupcake King. Baking with Rex

    I absolutely love that my boy loves making cakes as much as I do! He really likes getting hands on with weighing and mixing aswell as sneakily eating the sprinkles when he thinks mummy ain’t looking! So I promised him we’d make some cakes on my day off so that’s exactly what we did! Below is how it went plus the recipe if you’d like to try making some yourself!

    Cupcakes

    250g caster sugar

    250g Margerine

    250g self raising flour

    4 eggs

    LOTS OF SPRINKLES !!

    Method

    Weigh out all Ingredients and set your oven to 160oc

    Beat the marge and sugar together until fluffy

    Slowly add the eggs and beat hard until creamy

    Tip in all the flour and mix slowly until combined.

    Add some sprinkles and chocolate chips then spoon into cupcake cases and bake on 160oc for approx 20 min.

    So off we went! Apron on and Chef Rex was ready and raring to go. Weighing the ingredients like a pro he was having a ball! all we need for next time is a big tall white hat.

    He was being very helpful and very tidy which made mummy happy!

    In go the sprinkles!
    All ready to go in the oven!
    Decorated with buttercream m&ms and magic stars. Yummy!

    Z

    Xxx

  • Ultrasound Direct. Our early scan

    If you’re anything like me and by that I mean the most inpatient person in the world then you’d know I’ve been chomping at the bit to find out the gender of our baby as early as possible. So it’s a bloody good job we knew exactly where to go as I’ve been in this predicament before! That’s right we also had a private scan to find out that Rex was a boy because I was sooooo desperate to know.

    Now the clinic we used last time was absolutely cracking. It’s called ultrasound direct and it’s In Oxford buisness park, they specialise in diffrent things. One of those being gender scans apparently they’ve only got one wrong in the whole time theve been open! Which puts my mind as ease because the NHS hospital scan isn’t actually designed to find out the gender they just so happen to beable to tell you it. (If they can) anyway back to ultrasound direct, they do a scan for pretty much anything you just have to pick which one you’d like. We had 2 options… gender reveal scan where they don’t tell you the gender and instead it gets put into a secret envelope and you also get a big confetti cannon filled with either blue or pink confetti. Or you can go for just the gender scan where they basically just tell you what your having. Which is the one we went for.

    So off we popped on Saturday morning to go find out wheather it’s 💕 or 💙 now the building has moved from when we last went and it’s not signposted very well so it took abit of finding but we got there eventually with about 2 minutes to spare. But as we walked through the door I could see the receptionists face sink as she said to me “Oh didn’t you know we don’t allow children in” OH FUCK we’d only taken Rex with us hadn’t we!! And I really don’t want to go in on my own. But very kindly they agreed to sneak Rex in. Now I’m not sure how anyone sneaks Rex into anything as he ain’t exactly the quietest of chaps but we managed it!

    We had a lovely lady called Alison and she was magnificent. Before revealing the gender she did a number of diffrent checks and showed us the heart beat. Then…. She pulled out this laminated sheet and told us what the diffrent “bits” of the baby look like and could we guess before she tells us. Oh crickey I ain’t qualified for this sort of thing! So basically we’re either looking for a little willy OR a little line which is the sign it’s a girl. After abit of jiggling about it was kinda hard to tell but then I saw the line!! To scared to say girl incase I was wrong and looked like a ungrateful idiot for not saying boy I said ummm a girl? I think… I’m not sure.

    CONGRATULATIONS…. It’s a girl she said! All I heard was a big cheer from hubby as he was desperate for a girl! I don’t really know what was going through my head but I was excited, scared and humbled all in one! One of each we’re going to have one of each how lucky are we! Then it suddenly dawns on me. Oh shit I don’t know what I’m doing with a girl! My life had been consumed by boy stuff for nearly 4 years I have absolutely no idea how to shop for a girl or anything!! Anyway we finshed up and had about 6-7 scan photos given to us then we left. The scan cost us £60 which isn’t to bad in my opinion.

    And so there you have it! We are having a girl! How bloody exciting. June can’t come quick enough 💕 until next time.

    Z

    Xxx

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