Being a mum is the best job in the whole entire world and I wouldn’t change a single thing about it! At the same time it’s gruelling it’s tough and I don’t know about other mums but I forget I even exist sometimes. I forget to eat drink and even go to the toilet. That’s mad right? The 3 basic things that keep me alive and I forget to do them!
I wake up in the morning wondering will I have time to eat today? Will I beable to take a poo in peace? I barely drink one glass of water a day and my dinner is almost always cold when I get to eat it. My morning wee is an afternoon piss and my hair Doesn’t get washed or brushed in days. Some days I don’t even get dressed or brush my teeth all the while Rex is getting everything he wants and needs which is how it should be. He comes first and always will.
Now things are getting slightly easier with Rex and by slightly easier I mean sometimes he lets me finish my breakfast and drink my tea and if I’m really lucky I can nip for a wee whithout him screaming the house down because I’ve left the room. Since things have calmed down I’ve realised that I need to look after myself more. I realised that mummy matters to!
So how do I look after myself? Well… I rush to finish my breakfast even if he’s crying I just eat fast but I make sure I finish it and let him cry for a couple of mins. You soon learn to eat quick once you have a baby believe me! I make sure I always get dressed because there’s nowt worse for your mental health than bumming around in your pjs all day espically when the post man comes a knocking or you get visators, nobody needs to see those free flowing braless boobs!
When Rex isn’t crying shitting or feeding I spend most of the day taking cute photos of him, emptying the nappy bin, filling the steriliser, preparing tea and making up the next bottle. The banging headache I usually get early evening tells me i haven’t drank enough that day so that’s when I down cans of Diet Coke and cups of tea. This is when I usually stuff myself with chocolate biscuits and cake (hence the weight gain) because I actually have time to eat without being disturbed.
Now that we’ve established a bedtime routine that starts at 9pm by getting Rex in his pjs, making up a bottle then taking him upstairs to feed him and get him to sleep it’s usually 10pm by the time I’m free to do what I want! Which is usually tidying up and doing the dishes. But I’ve started treating myself to a nice hot bubble bath. Yes you read that right I said “treating” because believe me a bath these days is a treat, and an uninterrupted bath is like winning the lottery!
For any new mums reading this make sure you make time for YOU. Even if it’s a bubble bath or nice hot shower, brush your hair and get dressed that day, eat your breakfast without feeling guilty that the baby is screaming and piss like you have all the time in the world because believe me if you don’t look after yourself it makes things so much harder.
So I’ve noticed all my blog posts seem to be about me banging on about being pregnant or telling stories about my feelings and emotions, then it dawned on me tonight that i should actually also be doing posts about the main man himself my Rex! After all this blog wouldn’t exist without my little sausage.
So in celebration of his month birthday as the title suggests this post is going to be ALL ABOUT REX! So sit back relax and let me tell you everything you need to about the wonder that is Rex.
Rex was born by forceps delivery in theatre on the 2nd July at 2:48am at the John Radcliff hospital in oxford. This is the very first photo to be taken on him⬇️
Rex started out in life as a skinny mini 7.8 and a half lbs with not a single bit of fat on him his arms and legs were so tiny and his cute little button face was to die for!!
At his last weigh in he was getting on for 10lbs so he’s putting on weight nicely and I’m not suprised at the amount he puts away! He was a greedy bugger when he was a new new feeding every 2 hours and starting off at 2oz soon moving up to 3oz bottles. He’s currently guzzling away 5oz at at time! But… every 3 hours ish now which makes life abit easier.
Not that you want to know but he has about 10 nappy changes in a day ( I did say I was going to tell you everything!) normally 2 poo’s in a day unless he’s feeling mischievous then he might sneak another cheeky one in just for a laugh!
Rex has been quite a good boy when it comes to sleep he sleeps in a sleep suit and with the blue blanket they wrapped him up in hospital and a fan on for background noise, waking up 3 times in the night 1am 4am and 6am ish sometimes he mixes it up a bit just to throw me off. Each time he wakes up he has a bottle a nappy change and a quick cuddle (if I haven’t fallen back to sleep) We’ve sort of fallen into a routine of getting him into his cot by 10pm. Now I don’t want to jinx it but the last 3 nights something wonderful happend! The first night he slept through the whole night! 10:30am-6:30am and I felt so refreshed after a good nights sleep! The last 2 nights he’s woken at 4am for a feed which I’m not complaining about as once isn’t really bad at all for a 4 week old !! When he finally wakes up in the morning we give him a bottle then generally have a little nap together for a few hours which gives me that boost I need to start the day!
He goes by a few nick names some of them being T-Rex, baby dinosaur, and just because when he frowns he looks like a cross between an old man and a monkey he often gets called Benjamin button or Cesar (from planet of the apes) I know how mean are we !!
Rex has a dummy when he’s feeling really sad and can’t calm down most of the time he’s a happy chappy and loves having a good look around the room he’s a nosey bugger like his mum ! We managed to catch this snap of him today with a big beaming smile.
He has mixed feelings about bath time, his first ever bath went a bit wrong as we did it in our bath and he found it to big and overwhelming. The second bath he had we did in his baby bath and he seemed to enjoy it. The 3rd bath a little bit of water got into his mouth and you’d think he was drowning the fuss he made.
Rex is already into his music with his choice of Ed sheerean and Mabel, he loves watching Dr Who with daddy and he supports oxford united as seen in this pic sporting his new oxford football kit complete with his name on the back!
The most important thing about Rex is how much he loves his mummy and daddy and how much they love him to! Rex doesn’t really do much right now but every day he’s getting bigger and stronger and learning new things.
As it’s coming up to 1 year since I found out I was pregnant after month on month trying and failing to get pregnant thinking it would never happen and after spending 9 months actually being pregnant I now have the pregnancy blues… that’s right I actually miss being a fat fat fatty waddling around like a constipated duck growing my own tiny human. Sounds stupid right? Who would actually miss the sickness the aches and pains and the constant need to pee! Don’t even get me started on random people coming up to me and touching my tummy!
Of corse the weirdo that I am I do actually miss being pregnant! It was one hell of a experience and even during the tough times, the times I thought I couldn’t go on feeling so rubbish, I look back now wondering what a fuss i made! That feeling of getting the positive pregnancy test hands shaking not knowing what to do or who to tell. I remember thinking holy shit it actually worked! The hubbys swimmers finally found their way up the right way! Still to this day I have the pregnancy test I took that morning.
The test the day I found out I was pregnant💕
There’s nothing more comforting than knowing you are growing a little human, I loved going to all the scans and appointments with my lovely midwife! I loved watching my bump grow week by week …
I am about 4 weeks pregnant here ⬆️⬆️⬆️
(Take note of how good I looked compared to the saggy bag I’m left with)
I always had visions I would balloon during my pregnancy yah know just like violet Beauregard from Charlie and the chocolate factory. I was pleasantly supprised to have quite a neat little (big) bump and I didn’t really put as much weight on as I thought I would .
My growing bump! ⬆️
By the time my due date came around I was sporting a very round Christmas pudding bump! And despite the pains and struggles to get around towards the end there was no better feeling than feeling my little man kick inside my tummy. That’s where our bond really started I would often balance a can of Coke on my stomach and watch it move around as he was moving inside me playing him Ed sheeren regularly And I loved the way Mr M would sit and talk to my bump. I knew then what a fantastic dad he was going to be!
Daddy talking to baby 💕⬆️
My 9 months growing baby Rex seemed to fly by I still can’t believe it all actually happend it seems like one big dream that I’ve woken up from. Now I’m left with a saggy whoopee cushion belly, big boobies and stretch marks but you know what I wouldn’t change it for the world he was worth every pain and every yucky thing I’m left with after being pregnant.
All in all pregnancy was an awesome experience and yes I do miss it which strangely already has me broody for my next baby! I must be mad!!
Holy moly it’s almost 1 month since I had a baby ripped out of me with what felt like giant pair of salad tongs! Doesn’t time just fly? It only feels like yesterday I held that pregnancy test looking at the 2 lines appear.
Now here I am with a tiny little person depending on me for his every need, and boy can he be needy! But this post isn’t about my baby being needy Infact it’s not really about him atall it’s about me. Me and my stupid anxiety, which I’ve had under control for quite some time untill Rex was born.
My anxiety story starts the day we left hospital with Rex. Leaving my comfort zone ( The hospital ) where I had help on tap 24/7 I had doctors and nurses just outside the door should anything happen to me or Rex. The second we stepped out the doors of the hospital carrying Rex in his car seat it suddenly hit me… we are in charge of this little human now!!
For those of you who don’t know Anxiety isn’t always worrying about things or fretting but far from it, for me anyway I have the most unrational thoughts of things that are never going to happen which makes it difficult to tell anybody because I just get laughed at! Getting Rex strapped in to make the long awaited journey home I suddenly start having thoughts like what If we crash on the way home? And almost every car journey since we’ve been home I sit in the back with Rex terrified that if the car crashed he would be alone in the back. Crazy right? Yeah believe me I know! But can I stop thinking about it? I really wish I could.
Since leaving hospital we have had several outings with the baby and no outing with a newborn would be complete without several mishaps and dramas!! Rex decided in the middle of Aldi he was going to scream and scream until his little face was bright red and almost out of breath, my heart was breaking I had a trolly full of shopping my baby was having a meltdown and I just started to panic, thankfully my mum was with me and she took him back to the car to feed him but I just felt so shit and wanted to get home straight away after he screamed all the way home in the car I was trying not to cry and just wanted to get home as soon as possible. Then there’s the projectile vomiting incidient I mentioned in a past post where we had an emergency change of clothes in the middle of the street.
After these unfortunate events I decided to hide away at home putting off going out or seeing anyone in fear something would happen or I found myself in a situation I couldn’t get out of or get home quickly. The furthest I would go is walk down to my work to see the guys and collect my wages and that’s it , And to be honest it made me feel really shit being afraid to go out with Rex like really shit!
UNTILL… the day I had my final appoitment with the midwife and nobody to take me I decided I had to man up and do something about it. So I braved the bus !! Yes the bus… with a newborn what could possibly go wrong? Everything that could go wrong I was thinking about for days before I knew I had to get the bus! What if it crashed and the pram went flying? What if he cried the whole way there? What if I couldn’t get the pram on the bus? For days that’s all I could think about, walking to the bus stop that morning I felt sick and almost turned back to go home but I knew I had to see my midwife for the last ever appoitment, so off we went … me and Rex getting the bus.
Let me tell you what went wrong that morning getting the bus alone with a newborn baby… NOTHING!! nothing went wrong and I couldn’t be more relieved! He slept the whole way there, the bus didn’t crash and he didnt cry walking around Witney! We did it! And I even enjoyed being out and about in the fresh air away from Burford for a few hours.
Since that day I’ve grown some very big balls and been out and about with the pram doing things meeting people and going places. There’s no stopping us now! First stop- the bus to Witney now the world is our oyster for the next 7 months!!
I guess the moral of this story is don’t let your fears dictate how you live your life, don’t let anxiety wear you down and don’t be afraid of what might not happen!
3 weeks ago today I gave birth to the most beautiful little boy in the world and I knew absolutely nothing about looking after a baby except they need food a clean bum and lots of cuddles. 3 weeks later and I can officially say I still don’t know much! If only there was some mysterious handbook of how to look after a baby we would all be having an easy life!
So I’ve decided to put together just a few of the top tips I’ve discovered myself in the last 3 weeks of whinging it being a mummy I hope they come in handy for any mums to be!
Let’s start with the shit stuff… literary! Nappies! Now I’m going to do a post about what brands I recommend so I won’t repeat it here, we are currently using a mix of Aldi and Lidl nappies! It’s important to remember that your newborn is going to shit ALOT! So you need to be prepared for the ghastly nappy changes and be quick on the mark to get it done. I will never forget the first nappy change we did on Rex in hospital! It took us about 10 min because we had no idea what we were doing and that was with 2 of us changing him! As the days went on we finally got it down to a fine art and our times improved dramatically, if there was an Olympic sport in nappy changing we would totally boss it !
Signs a nappy needs changing are pretty obvious, the classic screaming the place down is one sign and hey who can blame them how’d you like to be sat in your own shit? I don’t know about other baby’s but our little one tends to do a massive fart when he’s doing a poo and that look on his face of trying to push one out is a classic sign. For the wee wee’s you don’t know when theve done it so regular checks would be a good idea.
My top tip for nappy changing is simple.. PREPERATION! now you don’t want to get your baby on the changing mat and be faffing around with all the bits you need so what I do is get everything out ready next to the changing mat open up the clean nappy ready to quickly put on, open up the nappy bag and wipes to. It sounds so simple but it will really help get that nappy changed quickly and efficiently and have baby feeling all clean and fresh. little tip.. put a blanket on the changing mat as those mats can get cold which will make the baby scream!
It’s all in the preperation.
Following on from the nappy changes this really is my TOP TIP of the whole blog post because without this one simple thing I would be screwed and forever running up the stairs to grab stuff I need. What you need to do is set up a little baby station downstairs where you keep everything you need so it’s on hand! My coffee table has become my baby station and on it we have all the changing essientails including a changing mat under the table ready to pull out when needed. Nappies, wipes, nappy bags, Muslin cloths and a bag of clean clothes (be prepared for several change of clothes in one day) our current record is 7! It may make my living room look like aisle 7 in mothercare but my god does it save me time! So get your baby stations ready ladies! And daddy’s! ( I also have one set up in my bedroom for the night feeds)
Top tip number 2 only applys to you if you are bottle feeding. I tried breast feeding in hospital and much to my amazement I really enjoyed it! But as it got to difficult I switched to the bottle. Now there’s loads of different formulas you can buy, we went with Aptamil for the only reason that after reading the back of all the packs in the shop I came to the conclusion all baby milk is the same! And it worked out well because Rex loves his Aptamil! Now there’s different ways of making up bottles I started with the good old boiling water mixed with powder fridge it and heat it up as required. This may work for a lot of you but to be quite frank it was a pain in the arse! My sister in law very kindly gave us a perfect prep machine. For those of you who have no idea what that is it’s basically a machine that makes the milk to the correct tempature in under 60 seconds. FANTASTIC! I would totally recommend it, during those dreaded night feeds it’s an absolute god send! I won’t lie they are abit pricey at £125 but worth every penny!
Basically all you do is put the bottle with powder under the spout press the button which sends out boiling water. Give it a little shake put it back under and press the button again and it fills the bottle up so it’s ready to drink!
As you can see to save time I’ve put the correct amount of scoops in little pots on top of the machine so all I have to do is pour that into a bottle and hurray we are ready to rock and roll !!
My top tip number 3 also relates to feeding… (the baby not you!)
You must make sure all bottles and feeding things are sterilised !! We have the tommee tippee steriliser which is fantastic! Again very quick only takes 10 min and easy to use! We keep a jug of water next to the steriliser as everytime you use it you need to put some water in the bottom. Fill up your steriliser with the bottles lids and even dummy’s pour in some water put the lid down press the button and BAM! 10 min later you will have bottles ready to use.
My kitchen currently looks like a little production line, I’ve never been so organised in my life! And trust me organisation is the key when having a baby. So next to the steriliser I have a box to put the sterilised bottles in so we know which ones are ready to use and we can grab them quick when making a bottle which is really handy.
Finally further along the production line … to keep the bottles seperate from all the other washing up I’ve got a plastic tub next to my sink which I put the washed out bottles in that need to be sterlised. The brush came with the bottle set.
My final top tip to make life sort of easier is something my health visator suggested and it’s something Called “white noise” I had no idea what this was but apparently it’s every day noises that tend to calm babies such as a hover, washing machine, fan etc. Now I’m not suggesting you go and turn on all your household appliances to calm the baby down, what I’m telling you to do is download an app called “sound sleeper” this app has saved my arse a few times already. It has all the sounds that baby’s like, I’m not going to lie it’s not a miracle worker but it has worked a couple of times for me when Rex has been upset his favourite noises are the hover and fan.
And there we have it all my time saving top tips for surviving a new born!
So we are fast approaching week 3 of having little Rex in our lives and it’s already been a rollercoaster of emotions. One minute I’m totally bossing parenthood then the next I’m in a puddle on the floor crying because I feel I can’t cope. This is by far the hardest job I’ve ever had, thinking and doing for 2 people all day every day constantly putting myself second and forgetting to look after myself, faking a smile for people after having no sleep and nothing to eat all day, hiding the bags under my eyes and pretending I feel ok.
It’s true what they say … you will never have a hot meal again and I don’t think I have! Don’t even get me started on how many times I have to reheat my cup of tea before I finally get to drink it! I find myself getting daily headaches because I simply don’t have time to make myself anything to eat or drink when I’m alone with the baby, he either needs something, screams the place down if I try and put him down or just decides he’s going to be an arsehole and not let mummy eat or drink anything. It’s midday usually before I finally get chance to have a drink and a morning wee making me feel absolutely rubbish. This week has been relentless and Rex has really been keeping me on my toes after his daddy went back to work a few days ago!
Night feeds aren’t to much of a problem (I think) I’m half asleep most of the time anyway. But on the odd occasion like this morning Rex will have his 5am feed and then decide it’s time to get up much to the disgust of his mummy. Even after checking everything he still screams the house down and I find myself getting so upset and frustrated not knowing what to do with him. I’m trying my hardest to get out of the habit of picking him up everytime he cry’s because he now knows and stops crying as soon as I pick him up.
Today I learnt that we only need to see our midwife once more and we will be discharged. This fills me with dread… my midwife has been with me throughout the whole pregnancy and after the birth, she’s someone I trust and can talk to, the thought of not having appointments to see her and check on me and Rex is terrifying I almost feel like I’m being abondoned, as extream as it sounds that’s how I feel, being left to go it alone “cry’s”
Now I heard breast feeding was full on all the time feeds but my god can my boy drink! He’s feeding every 2 hours at the moment making it impossible to get anything done in the house or even go out because as soon as we get anywhere he screams and screams wanting to be fed so I’ve contained myself to the house where I have everything on hand ready to feed the little fatty. Outings are getting so stressful will he cry the place down? Or need a change or feed in the middle of the street? I can answer yes to one of those as we had a projectile vomit incident in the middle of the highstreet the other day, it came out like a fountain all over him and the pram the baby grow ended up going in the bin on the way home it was that bad. Then there’s the car… I normally sit in the back with Rex to make sure he’s ok but twice this week I’ve had to sit in the front and he’s cried until his little face was red as a beetroot and could hardly breathe, sitting in the front trying my hardest not to burst into tears was so difficult. Everytime he cry’s it breaks my heart just a little bit.
Strangely I’m rather enjoying the loneliness my fave thing to do at the moment is just sit in silence when Rex is asleep and enjoy a cuppa tea. Compleatly the opposite of how I thought I’d feel! The truth is nothing really prepares you for how hard it is to be a mum, nothing prepares you for the stresses and strains the mess your house gets in and when you haven’t showered or brushed your hair in days, nothing really helps you know what to do when the baby has been screaming so long it gives you a banging headache. The truth is nobody really knows what it’s like until it happens to you.
BUT….
Nothing also prepares you for how happy you feel when you see your baby content, nothing prepares you for that feeling when you wash change and dress your baby and see them laying awake looking around and recognising your voice. Nothing prepares you for the unconditional love you feel for your little human, even on the bad days when the washing is piling up the bin needs emptying and you’ve not had a wee in 7 hours, nothing beats sitting down with a cuddle with your mini person.
Rex my darling your drive me crazy some days but mummy loves you so much 💙
This post is dedicated to all the mums out there who are struggling but doing a brilliant job! 💙
After what felt like an eternity being in hospital we finally got discharged and made our way home. It felt so strange being back home after 5 days away almost like I’d been away on holiday and come back with a baby. After getting home we kind of sat there not really knowing what to do so I threw some pizza and chips in the oven as neither of us had had a hot meal in over 5 days. With no routine and no idea what we were doing we winged it from there on. To exhausted to do anything we just chilled on the sofa doing bits and bobs with Rex until he fell asleep for abit. He didn’t actually go down until 3am the first night. “Eye rolls” so I got myself ready for bed and got all my medication ready. Now like I said before I HATE HATE HATE needles even after everything I’ve Been through and the amount of stuff I’ve had done I still can’t stand them! Anyway I got sent home from hospital with a pack of some medication that I had to inject every night for the next 10 nights to stop any blood clots forming.
The thought of actually injecting myself makes me feel really sick so Mr M stepped up to the job, I think he took a lot of pleasure injecting me and seeing me wimper like a little baby. I also got sent home with iron tablets to bring my iron levels back after the heavy blood loss.
Like I said our first night was abit of a disaster I had no idea what I was doing Rex didn’t end up going down until 3am then woke again at 6am. “Yawns” the midwife turned up just after 11 I was so glad to see my usual midwife she came and checked us both over and decided Rex needed to be seen in hospital that afternoon to have his jaundice checked, so off we popped to Witney community hospital to have him checked over and it turns out his jaundice levels have dropped since they tested him in hospital. Even the short walk from the car to the front door of the hospital really done me in still getting pains in my tummy and shortness of breath.
The next couple of days seemed to go abit smoother with Rex getting used to his surroundings and us sort of getting into a routine he now only wakes twice at night for a bottle and then goes straight back to sleep GOOD LAD!! My milk started to come in a few days after being home and oh my bloody god nobody prepares you for the pain of having boobies full of milk! Jezzz you could have cut glass with my nipples and the rest of my knockers we’re like rocks! Leaking had become abit of a problem I had no idea how much you actually “leak” Mr M is now scared for life after seeing milk just running out of my nipples! Thankfully after a couple of days and lots of breast pads later I think it’s cleared up. By the middle of the week the weather had really started to heat up and poor little Rex was so hot and uncomfortable he cried all day and not just any cry.. no no it was the kind of cry the neighbours would call the police because they would think we are murdering him. I was in tears not knowing what to do Mr M was at his wits end and it suddenly dawned on me how hard this was going to be.
After what felt like the longest and most emotional day ever after lots of tears and thoughts of “I can’t do this” we made it through the other side and he settled down to sleep at night. Still feeling in a lot of pain still scared to go to the toilet and having daily headaches that lasted forever the following appointment with the doctor she arranged some blood tests to check my iron levels as I was showing signs of severe iron deficiency. So the following day off I went for my blood test feeling so exhausted and emotional i broke down in tears to the nurse.
2 days later I received my results and it turned out I needed a iron transfusion. After a lot of commotion between the GP and my midwife fighting one saying I needed it the other saying I didn’t I finally got my appoitment at the John Radcliff hospital in oxford to have it done 10 days later than it should have really been done! Aswell as the transfusion I had found something down below that I thought shouldn’t be there… after persuading Mr M to have a look and take a photo to show me I had no idea what it was but it looked like some kind of hole, the midwife later confirmed the end of my stitches had come out so it was swabbed and booked for a re-check next Tuesday. Great… what else actually wants to happen to me! Oh yeah piles … I have fucking piles! I could cry right now, will someone give me a bloody break!
So off we set again leaving Rex with his nanny we were only up the hospital 5 hours ish and it didn’t hurt it just felt really cold going into my vein which was so strange! The nurse said it will take a couple of days to take effect It’s now 2 days after and I already feel a difference no headache today and I don’t feel as weak as I have been!
Inbetween all this I’ve been out and about lunching with friends walking to work and seeing family. Which has made me realise how bad my anixety is getting because I realised I actually can’t bear to be away from Mr M or Rex and everytime I’ve been out I’ve almost had a panic attack wanting to get back home and be on my own with my boys which is something I need to work on. The exhaustion has really set in even though Rex is sleeping okay at night I still feel like a zombi during the day and I can’t remember the last time I actually ate my dinner when it was still hot or had a bath without wondering what Rex is up to. Motherhood is relentless but I love my boy to the moon and back.
Our first week at home has been a really challenging one from 7 outfit changes in one day to 3 dirty nappies in 10 minuets. There’s been tears and smiles cuddles and endless photos taken of my little Rex. Tomorrow Mr M goes back to work and I’ve been trying all day not to cry but Deep down I want to cry my eyes out, the thought of being alone with the baby without him scares the living daylight out of me! All I can do is be strong and know he’s not far away should I need him for anything. I would like to share a few pics taken of our first week at home 💙
I just wanted to do a little blog post about my recovery and time in hospital after the birth of my beautiful Rex. Following on from my last post after the delivery whilst Mr M went home for a shower and a sleep as he’d been up for almost 24 hours, after observations I was taken to another part of the hospital to recovery. We’ve been very lucky I don’t know if it’s because of my anixety about the whole thing and me telling the midwife but we’ve had the most amazing care and rooms! So hobbling into a wheelchair off we went to our final room to go and recover for a few days. The room was like a hotel suite! We had a flat screen tv our own fridge and a bed for Mr M to sleep in so we didn’t have to be alone.
I was so glad to finally have the birth out the way and finally be a family of 3 but my god was I still in so much pain! I couldn’t even stand up without assistance, the midwives had to help me put on my pants and change my pads for me. By this time they had seen that much of me I didn’t really give a shit anymore I just let them get on with what they needed to do to the car crash that was my fanny… I’m so grateful that Mr M got to stay with me and Rex because I couldn’t even get onto the bed go to the toilet or get dressed I’ve never felt so vunarable in my whole life. For reasons I don’t really want to know I had to pee in a bed pan for my first few wee’s which was delightful !! And let me tell you trying to wee whilst you’ve just had stitches down there is like trying to dodge mines in a mine field, I also couldn’t feel when my bladder was full and when I was actually going I couldn’t feel a thing which was abit strange ! then the time came when I needed a poo and I’ve never been so terrified in all my life to push this shit out scared to death of ripping my stitches out ! Thankfully the midwife gave me something to help me go and I managed it with no major rippages! And. Don’t even get me started on what happens when I needed to sneeze or cough!
Once settled in my big comfy bed the midwives would come round every 2 hours or so to do observations on me and Rex this included tempature blood pressure pulse and to check if I needed pain killers, Aswell as this I had a call button above my bed incase I needed anything including help with breast feeding. Now for those of you who know me I was never really a big fan of boob feeding BUT… after the midwife spontaneously threw my baby onto my tit after delivery I decided to give it a go. And to my utter surprise I really enjoyed it!
And I’m actually really proud of myself that I gave it a go and Rex had my breast milk for his very first feed. I fed him about 5 times in total but once I was left to it on my own i really struggled to get him to latch on which stressed him out which stressed me out so I gave in and started on formula. We did take in some little bottles of already mixed milk but all I had to do was ask for some bottles at reception desk and they came and topped us up whenever we needed any.
Later on that night both set of parents came up to meet their new grandson and I’ve never been so happy to see my mum after the hellish 48 hours I’d just been through. Espically as she bought me a big bar of galaxy!
Our first night with Rex in hospital was done and it wasn’t to bad he woke for a couple of times for a feed and went back to sleep. I hardly slept worrying about him but I basically spent all day in bed anyway as my feet and legs were now so swollen it was a little painful to even walk.
Day 2 on recovery ward and we must have had about 10 visitors… not family but different doctors and other people. Rex had a hearing test which he passed we had all our normal obs aswel as a mental health doctor coming round to check on me, we also had a photo shoot done by the hospital I didn’t actually buy any of the photos because they were so expensive and I have taken ones just as good. The rest of the day was spent lounging around in bed trying to let my vagina heal as I still couldn’t really walk very well. Allthough I did manage to very slowely waddle to the cafe downstairs as they only feed me in hospital not the partners and the food was another level bad I mean who wants a cottage cheese salad! Of all things !
My advice to anyone expecting a baby… take a big bag of food up for your partner as the tea trolly didn’t even offer Mr M a cup of tea!! Saying that I did have rather a nice Homous and carrot sandwich the next day which was pretty sexy.
Day 5 and I’ve been told we should be being discharged today. Hurray! I’ve enjoyed recovering in the nice big room with help on tap from midwives but I’m so ready to go home! After passing my mental health assessment and now off my IV antibiotics I’m discharged and just waiting on the doctors to discharge Rex. So we pack up what feels like a weeks worth of stuff and sit ready to be told we can go… almost 12 hours later and climbing the walls we are getting pretty adigated waiting for the doctor to come round and discharge Rex. There was a hold up because he had suspected jaundice. Finally the midwife came round and told us we could go! Yay!! after getting all my medication to take home and my discharge form we were ready !
And off we went! The car was boiling for poor little Rex and we got stuck in abit of traffic on the way home but we made it and are now starting our journey as a family of 3 💙
That’s right! my baby has finally arrived ! 16 days late but he made it in the end, so after 5 days in hospital and a day at home recovering I’m ready to tell my story whilst its still fresh in my memory.
Let’s do this…
I just want to put out a WARNING!!! any pregnant ladies reading this who feel they don’t want to know the harships of birthing a baby or feel they will scare themselves by reading my story please don’t read on past this point.
So as we all know my baby did everything he could to stay put in his mummy’s tummy so on Sunday 30th June they decided enough was enough and I needed to be induced! we had to be up the hospital super early so I was really hoping I would be holding my baby in my arms by that evening. oh how wrong could I be! So the induction I had was simply a gel that got inserted inside me which is supposed to start all the right hormones going to kick start labour. So after having this done we were allowed to wonder around the hospital and just had to go back every hour to be checked to see if I had dilated anymore. each hour passed and nothing happened, after about 8 hours it really got tiring! so we got moved to this private room waiting to be called down to delivery, the room was amazing we had a fridge TV microwave and our own bathroom plus a pull out bed for Mr M to sleep on! After another 6 ish hours of waiting we were told delivery is too busy for me to go down and have my waters broken so we would need to stay overnight and wait on news.
Our room was huge!
6am the following morning in came the nurse and said be ready in 15 min we are taking you down to have your waters broke. SHIT its happening! scared out of my wits we went down and met the midwife who would be doing the deed of darkness and popping my waters. Laying on my back legs wide open for the world to see and all she needs to do is insert this kind of hook thing, not uncomfortable in the slightest just abit twingey, after poking around for a while she said she couldn’t reach what she needed to, after a while longer of her poking me up the chuff I felt this really warm gooey gush flood out of me . (trys not to vomit) Then all I remember next is her running and pressing a button on the wall and in rushes about 5 doctors and midwives, telling me not to panic and to quickly roll over onto my side whilst somebody quickly pricked me and put a line in my hand to get fluids into me, ive never been so scared in all my life! after the commotion was over they told me babys heartbeat had really dropped and I had a lot of blood in my waters which is why everybody dashed in to help. After me and baby got stabilised I enjoyed some tea and toast whilst waiting for things to start.
For someone who hates needles I did pretty wellWaiting for things to happen
Because the gel the day before hadn’t worked I had to be put on a hormone drip to force my body to contract, did I ever tell you I hate needles? well I do… and I had one permently In my hand feeding me this drip. anyway I scoffed my toast and got comfy waiting for things to start having a gossip with the midwife and Mr M who bless him really didn’t know what to do. Half an hour later I had a few pains come and go and I thought to myself if these are contractions then I’m totally going to boss this! as time went by each one got worse and worse to the point I was moaning like a dying cow. I had to stand up and lean on Mr M as the pain was so bad I just couldn’t sit down, then all of a sudden I get that feeling deep in my stomach… you know the one where you just know you are going to see your breakfast, that’s right I threw up all over the bed and all over myself. I thought this was the most embarrassing thing to happen so far until I was told I needed to pee in a bed pan in front of Mr M. Bless him. My contractions started getting stronger and stronger to the point I was doubled over in pain screaming every swear word under the sun. Its the oddest feeling because for 60 seconds I was in the worst pain imaginable then it would suddenly go and I would be ok laughing and joking with the midwife again. About 3ish hours in and id had enough, sprawled on the bed screaming begging for an epidural they arranged for the doctor to come round and get the epidural in! until then I was on the good gas and air, that stuff is banging! its worth having a baby just to have a go on that bad boy! it made me feel like id had about 10 vodkas!
Gas and air is amazing!
For anyone who’s had an epidural I’m sure you will agree with me I thought it was just a quick injection in the spine, well its far from that! I had to sit up on the bed and bend forward like I was a prawn whilst they could find the exact spot they needed, the most impossible thing you can do is sit still whilst contracting! completely out of it on the gas and air and trying to stay still whilst they put the needle in my spine was one of the worst parts bloody hell did that hurt!! it took about half an hour and countless injections to get the right part of my spine but they managed it and I felt so relieved! so my understanding of the epidural is you have port taped to your back that goes into your spine which had a tube going up my back over my shoulder which was connected to a bag containing the solution and I had a little button to press every 25 minuets which released the solution into my spine. Less than 10 min after having it put in I had no pain whatsoever! yay! my legs were paralysed now which means I needed a catheter. For anyone who doesn’t know what that is basically its a tube going up into your bladder and the pee goes into a bag because for obvious reasons I could no longer get up and pee! I cant tell you how comfortable I felt pain free I could have cried infact I think I did. So now was just a waiting game… until my bloods came back saying I had picked up an infection and needed IV antibiotics quickly, so again about 4 doctors rushed in to get a line in my hand to get the antibiotics in quickly, I’ve since learnt it was suspected sepsis!
Feeling loads better after the epidural was put in
After all the drama it was actually time to rest try and have a sleep and wait for this baby to come, we are now about 12-13 hours in both me and Mr M are exhausted, I could see me being in so much pain earlier on was killing him but he’s trying to be brave for me. By this time I think I was about 8cm dilated and the plan was to start pushing at 11pm once I reach 10cm. 11pm came and we went for it! I had no idea when I was contracting because of the epidural so I had to be told when to push and I honestly couldn’t feel much happening, until the nurse examined me and I let out this almighty fart right in her face! Mr M is laughing his head off and I’m so embarrassed I don’t know weather to say anything or not!!
The plan was to push for 2 hours, one hour of pushing and the midwife examined me and it looked like baby’s head was in a really awkward position and if they couldn’t rectify it I would have to be taken to theatre for a forceps delivery which also meant I needed to be prepped for a C-section should the forceps not work. by this time I’m mentally drained crying my eyes out scared out of my wits, there was no anaesthetist available which meant we had to wait. then we had the news they had called one in and all a sudden the sides went up on my bed and I was being quickly wheeled to the theatre crying and screaming for Mr M as he had to wait until I was prepped. The only way I can describe it is like a scene from casualty I was looking up at these bright lights and white ceiling tiles surrounded by doctors all introducing themselves and telling me what was going to happen, the anaesthetist was the one doctor who explained everything to me held my hand and reassured me , her job was to give me the medicine stronger than the epidural I was crying asking what if it doesn’t work what if I feel it, so she sprayed this really cold spray on me and asked me if I could feel it which I couldn’t. Finally ready and in comes Mr M dressed in his lovely scrubs and crocs they made him wear, he looked more frightened than me!
I’ve never been so scared in all my life as they strapped my paralysed legs up in these strip things and put up a screen so we couldn’t see what was happening. From here on I saw nothing what happened so I can only tell you what I heard, Same as before I couldn’t feel the contractions but I was told when I was having one and that I needed to push as hard as I could whilst the forceps are used to pull my baby out, after a few moments of pushing and this really hard pulling sensation in my stomach (I felt like my insides were being ripped out) they told me his head was born, one more massive push and a big pull the other end and my baby was born and thrown over The screen onto my tummy, so overcome with emotion I cried my eyes out, My beautiful baby Rex was born 7lb 8oz of pure perfection all of a sudden though the doctors started to panic as I was losing a lot of blood fast I later found out I lost 2liters and almost needed a blood transfusion, still laying down whilst they stitched me up all of a sudden they started to panic again and quickly told me that my womb isn’t moving back to where it should be and I needed an injection that was going to make me very sick and they weren’t wrong!! 10 seconds after injecting me I started to be violently sick and as I’m lead down I have no choice but to just puke all over myself over and over again until I’m soaked in my own sick which meant I couldn’t hold my baby boy after he was born which broke my heart…
The first time holding my baby
Still completely out of it in pain emotionally drained and still being sick I’m wheeled onto an observation ward to recover, by this time its about 4am and I don’t even know my own name feeling absolutely rotten sick and drained from the blood loss the midwife plonks the baby onto my breast and gets him to have his first feed, something I was unsure if I wanted to do or not but I’m glad she did it as it encouraged me to try again later. We managed about 5 feeds breastfeeding . My baby was also whisked off to get some pain relief as he has some cuts from the forceps on his head.
Me and Rex in observation
A couple of hours later still not having had any sleep the epidural started to wear off and oh my fucking god I have never been in so much pain in my entire life!! my lady parts and my bum were in agony I was lead on my bed screaming and begging for a nurse to come in I cant explain the amount of pain I was in, I got given morphine which did absolutely nothing then some other drugs which took the edge off but I couldn’t sit up move or even hold my baby again. I’ve never been so frightened in my whole life I want to cry now just writing this story, anyway it turns out because of the heavy bleeding they had packed the inside of my vagina with what I can only describe as bandages to soak up the blood, they had to stay in for 6 hours and when the nurses came round to take them out I could not believe my eyes at how much was coming out! she just kept pulling and pulling for what felt like about 10 minuets and when it was all out I had a quick look and couldn’t believe my eyes at what had just come out of me! Next up was a back passage examination as id had severer pain up my bum they had to check I hadn’t torn which I hadn’t (thank god)
After I proved I could sit up and take a few steps and have some toast I was allowed to move into a private room in recovery and finally able to cuddle my son properly for the first time. My labour was the scariest but best thing to ever happen to me, the staff at the john Radcliff hospital went above and beyond to take care of me and my baby and made what was an unbearable experience somewhat bearable. stay tuned for my next post about the amazing aftercare me and Rex received!
Welcome to the world Rex
this post is dedicated to all the staff at the john Radcliff hospital who do such an amazing job every single day!
Before you ask yes I’m still pregnant! now 5 days (almost 6) overdue. Every night I go to bed praying tonight will be the night it happens. So far no luck! To carry on from my last post after my very glamorous fingering from the nurse (proper term Stretch and sweep) I’m very disappointed to report nothing has happened and baby is living it up inside my tummy.
The night of the stretch and sweep I did have quite a lot of pain in my VJJ and to be honest all week I’ve had stretching feelings going on down there so I’m wondering weather I’m actually dilated more than I was on Monday, whatever’s going on something is 100% moving down there! To add to all the vagina drama I’ve noticed something quite unsavoury about my boobies… they have started leaking! So far this is the only thing that has really freaked me out! I can deal with leakage in the underpants area as that’s just part of being a woman, never before have I seen something coming out of my boobs! and to be honest it made me feel a bit sick when I first noticed it! Yes I know its only natural before anyone try’s to make me feel bad, but when it first happened I was like woahhhhhhhhh.
So far all people are saying to me is “get a good curry inside you” or “have lots of sex” with the deepest respect and love I just want to tell people to fuck off! its funny to start with but its really starting to wear thin now! I have my own methods of trying to get this baby moving these include lots of walks which I’ve really enjoyed, I’ve attempted to cut the jungle that is my back garden, I’ve been into town (on the bus) much to most peoples disgust and generally been active doing housework and washing. I’ve been told by Mr M that I need to hold on until Monday because he wants to play football on Sunday haha!
The good news is I’m not worrying or feeling anxious about anything at the moment which has come as a nice surprise to me! I’ve made peace with the fact its going to hurt getting this baby out and I’ve made peace with the fact I’m going to be in hospital where I usually feel my most anxious. We couldn’t be more prepared for little man to arrive! hospital bags are packed and ready to grab in an emergency, the cot and baby monitor is set up, I’ve tried out the bottle steriliser and we are ready to rock and roll!
So for now I’m doing my thing going about my daily antics waiting for the gush of the waters breaking, unless I go into labour by Tuesday the plan is for me to have another procedure to try and get him going, I’m not hopeful that it will work, I’m not looking forward to another fingering to be honest but needs must I suppose. It cant be any worse then pushing a watermelon out of my snatch now can it! You are past your eviction date now little man!
It’s all in the preperation.
The Z word 